What the Proverbs 31 Woman is NOT.

Proverbs 31

You want to know a secret? I mostly HATE Christian blog posts about women. What women should be, what women should aspire to be, what kind of men women should seek, what kind of woman men should seek, and the list goes on.

I hate them. With some exceptions of course, I feel like they are sexist, narrow-minded, and generally lacking.

I’ve always held that God NEVER intended for men and women to become so unequal. He created different roles for us within families and somehow, even by earlier biblical times, those roles became known as more and less important and they stretched to become meaningful in society as a whole.

Enter the Proverbs 31 woman. I’ve always liked her, but people use her as an example for something she’s not. She’s not timid or meek. She’s not stuck in a box. She’s certainly not less important. She’s feisty and has gumption. She’s a shrewd businesswoman, she works out, and she trusts her gut. My favorite part about this passage though, is that it says absolutely nothing about how good she is at the things she does.

We women love to both judge and compare ourselves to each other, partly out of nature and mostly out of nurture. Society has fueled in us the need to be better than our lady friends. You know who is the worst at this? Type-A people..

My husband recently said to me “You can’t be the best at everything you know.” While rationally I know this to be true, I let it hurt my feelings and you know what it was about? Rice Crispy Treats. Freaking RICE CRISPY TREATS. Ugh, God has so much work to do on me.

Proverbs 31 is filled with tons of badass things that this lady is and does, but says nothing about her skill level. Maybe she rose while it was still night with bedhead and horrific morning breath and went straight for the coffee because she was sooo not a morning person. Maybe all of the coverings and linens she sewed came out with crooked seams. Maybe her charity didn’t serve as many homeless people as the woman next door’s did. It says she GIVES food to her household and maidens, but maybe the Proverbs 31 woman ordered takeout because she was a terrible cook. MAYBE after all of that rising and sewing and feeding and field-buying she was exhausted and wound down with a bubble bath and a glass of wine… sheepskin of wine? You get the point.

She still lived her life like a boss. She was confident in what she did and delighted in serving her family. Even if she wasn’t the best, her husband was proud to be standing at her side and her children ADORED her.

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That’s all we really can do. Be the best us we know how to be and don’t sweat the rest. As a new mom, I’m learning that this is so important to remember. I’ve already crossed craftiness and staying underwhelmed off the list of things I’m good at, and I can assure you that there are more things on that list than the other one. But you know what I am awesome at? Loving that little guy so much that it hurts. He and Bryan make me want to be better for our family. My job is to keep him alive, lead him toward Christ, and love him, and as long as I am doing those things, even if I’m not the best at it, then I’m a Proverbs 31 woman too.

Love, Alex

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Pfff Babies

crying

You know what type-A people LOOOOVE? Routines and structure, duh. You know what babies give zero effs about? Your routines and structure.

Ugh.

So after about 4 weeks of beating my head against the wall trying to implement Babywise………I’ve given up.

That’s right, you heard me. I threw the towel in and called it quits. I’m sure that it was much less dramatic of an experience than I am pretending it was. In my head, I arm-swiped the changing table and deleted my baby-tracker app, but in reality I just cried and wailed “I can’t do this anymooooooore.” IT WAS MONUMENTAL TO ME, OK?

For reals though. I so want Grady to fit into the perfect routine and sleep pattern and be super happy all of the time. What I didn’t plan for was when his stomach hurt so he didn’t sleep when he was “supposed to,” or when I am a new mom and just want to hold him all of the time and not feel guilty about it or like I am ruining him forever and ever.

I felt like such a failure as a mom because I was following all of the rules and it still wasn’t working. As if human babies follow a formula. I was stressing him out too. Since I became a quitter, he has slept better and become a much happier baby.

I think Babywise is great in some ways, and I plan on keeping a good bunch of it in mind. Everyone told me to take it with a grain of salt, but as I am a anal-retentive crazy person, I of course went full-force until I burnt myself out. I was so stressed and upset because he wasn’t logically doing what he was supposed to (I know right?!), that I feel like I missed out on some of the sweet moments along the way.

I am so guilty of this in so many ways. I get so set on trying to cram that square peg into whatever structured hole it’s “supposed” to go in that I miss the cues that it isn’t working, or that perhaps God has provided a better way.

I’ve decided that I am just going to do whatever I feel like doing in regards to Grady, and he will just have to be along for the ride. Now if I could just learn to be along for the ride for my Parent.

Mom.

Oh heeeeeey. Nice to see you again. I kind dropped off th face of the earth there for a bit huh? Well, allow me to show you why:

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I mean.

So, all that talk about being pregnant and all of the misery and frustration finally paid off and I got THIS ADORABLE CREATURE.

But really though? I’ve never been so tired in my life. I mean he’s worth it an all, but for real. so much not sleep.

The other day he slept AT NIGHT for 4 straight hours, which as you can imagine I was super excited about, until I realized that it meant that 4 is the most consecutive hours I have slept in almost a month as well. Then I was kind of sad.

I had all of the big feelings and raging hormones that you can imagine I had (ok fine. HAVE), and I will of course share those with you all in detail as if you really wanted to know about my ugly-crying sessions.

For now though, I will leave you with these pictures. Mostly because I figured the internet was running short of photos of people’s children.

My new favorite thing ever. Unless I have crap to do, then I'm just like "stop crying and sleep kid. Mommy has to wash your clothes and eat her lunch."

My new favorite thing ever. Unless I have crap to do, then I’m just like “stop crying and sleep kid. Mommy has to wash your clothes and eat her lunch.”

Is this not the sexiest thing you've ever seen in your entire life? OK, I could understand if not. but for me? Oh man.

Is this not the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life? OK, I could understand if not. but for me? Oh man.

First bath! This is his favorite part. The part where he gets out of the bathtub and is wrapped in a towel and held after such a traumatic experience.

First bath! This is his favorite part. The part where he gets out of the bathtub and is wrapped in a towel and held after such a traumatic experience.

As you could imagine, Phoebe is ready for the new puppy to go back to his house.

As you could imagine, Phoebe is ready for the new puppy to go back to his house.

Grady and his new BFF Vaun. My friend Sarah and I were only 4 days apart our entire pregnancies and then our kids are now like a couple of weeks apart! (I was early, she was late)

Grady and his new BFF Vaun. My friend Sarah and I were only 4 days apart our entire pregnancies and then our kids are now like a couple of weeks apart! (I was early, she was late)

Indoctrinating him into our love of superheros early on. Raise a child up in the way that he should and whatnot.

Indoctrinating him into our love of superheros early on. Raise a child up in the way that he should go and whatnot.

Oh wait how did this get in here? Ok fine. I just had to prove that a) we actually did something on New Years Eve sans our child (Even if we were home by 11), and b) brag on my first post-baby drink! It was delicious if you were wondering.

Oh wait how did this get in here? Ok fine. I just had to prove that a) we actually did something on New Years Eve sans our child (Even if we were home by 11), and b) brag on my first post-baby drink! It was delicious if you were wondering.

I’m all kinds of pent-up with writing tension, so look forward to my verbal vomit in the coming weeks :).

Love, Alex