You know what type-A people LOOOOVE? Routines and structure, duh. You know what babies give zero effs about? Your routines and structure.
So after about 4 weeks of beating my head against the wall trying to implement Babywise………I’ve given up.
That’s right, you heard me. I threw the towel in and called it quits. I’m sure that it was much less dramatic of an experience than I am pretending it was. In my head, I arm-swiped the changing table and deleted my baby-tracker app, but in reality I just cried and wailed “I can’t do this anymooooooore.” IT WAS MONUMENTAL TO ME, OK?
For reals though. I so want Grady to fit into the perfect routine and sleep pattern and be super happy all of the time. What I didn’t plan for was when his stomach hurt so he didn’t sleep when he was “supposed to,” or when I am a new mom and just want to hold him all of the time and not feel guilty about it or like I am ruining him forever and ever.
I felt like such a failure as a mom because I was following all of the rules and it still wasn’t working. As if human babies follow a formula. I was stressing him out too. Since I became a quitter, he has slept better and become a much happier baby.
I think Babywise is great in some ways, and I plan on keeping a good bunch of it in mind. Everyone told me to take it with a grain of salt, but as I am a anal-retentive crazy person, I of course went full-force until I burnt myself out. I was so stressed and upset because he wasn’t logically doing what he was supposed to (I know right?!), that I feel like I missed out on some of the sweet moments along the way.
I am so guilty of this in so many ways. I get so set on trying to cram that square peg into whatever structured hole it’s “supposed” to go in that I miss the cues that it isn’t working, or that perhaps God has provided a better way.
I’ve decided that I am just going to do whatever I feel like doing in regards to Grady, and he will just have to be along for the ride. Now if I could just learn to be along for the ride for my Parent.