You want to know a secret? I mostly HATE Christian blog posts about women. What women should be, what women should aspire to be, what kind of men women should seek, what kind of woman men should seek, and the list goes on.
I hate them. With some exceptions of course, I feel like they are sexist, narrow-minded, and generally lacking.
I’ve always held that God NEVER intended for men and women to become so unequal. He created different roles for us within families and somehow, even by earlier biblical times, those roles became known as more and less important and they stretched to become meaningful in society as a whole.
Enter the Proverbs 31 woman. I’ve always liked her, but people use her as an example for something she’s not. She’s not timid or meek. She’s not stuck in a box. She’s certainly not less important. She’s feisty and has gumption. She’s a shrewd businesswoman, she works out, and she trusts her gut. My favorite part about this passage though, is that it says absolutely nothing about how good she is at the things she does.
We women love to both judge and compare ourselves to each other, partly out of nature and mostly out of nurture. Society has fueled in us the need to be better than our lady friends. You know who is the worst at this? Type-A people..
My husband recently said to me “You can’t be the best at everything you know.” While rationally I know this to be true, I let it hurt my feelings and you know what it was about? Rice Crispy Treats. Freaking RICE CRISPY TREATS. Ugh, God has so much work to do on me.
Proverbs 31 is filled with tons of badass things that this lady is and does, but says nothing about her skill level. Maybe she rose while it was still night with bedhead and horrific morning breath and went straight for the coffee because she was sooo not a morning person. Maybe all of the coverings and linens she sewed came out with crooked seams. Maybe her charity didn’t serve as many homeless people as the woman next door’s did. It says she GIVES food to her household and maidens, but maybe the Proverbs 31 woman ordered takeout because she was a terrible cook. MAYBE after all of that rising and sewing and feeding and field-buying she was exhausted and wound down with a bubble bath and a glass of wine… sheepskin of wine? You get the point.
She still lived her life like a boss. She was confident in what she did and delighted in serving her family. Even if she wasn’t the best, her husband was proud to be standing at her side and her children ADORED her.
That’s all we really can do. Be the best us we know how to be and don’t sweat the rest. As a new mom, I’m learning that this is so important to remember. I’ve already crossed craftiness and staying underwhelmed off the list of things I’m good at, and I can assure you that there are more things on that list than the other one. But you know what I am awesome at? Loving that little guy so much that it hurts. He and Bryan make me want to be better for our family. My job is to keep him alive, lead him toward Christ, and love him, and as long as I am doing those things, even if I’m not the best at it, then I’m a Proverbs 31 woman too.