I’m Sorry That Happened.

Photo courtesy of USA Today

Photo courtesy of USA Today

*Disclaimer: I am not a political activist, nor do I feel that my opinion is extremely eloquent, nor is this a commentary on how to fix an overall problem. It is an opinion about one small part of it.*

There are lots of fun problems and issues that we women face all the freaking time that men can never understand. Some of them are biological, such as growing a child and dealing with the surges of hormones that come with all of that. Some of them are more on the social side of things like how women can be really crappy sometimes and choose to tear each other apart instead of supporting one another, which leads to really dumb offenses and admittedly lame reactions to things.

Point being, men have lots of other problems that we don’t understand, but many of them choose to keep all of that locked in, while many of us neeeeeed to talk about it.

Early on in our marriage and still sometimes even now like last week, Bryan had to learn the art of listening and empathizing without trying to fix the problem or telling me that he thought it was stupid. He learned how to simply say “I’m sorry that happened.” He wasn’t sorry. He didn’t do anything wrong. But that one sentence made me feel like he understood where I was coming from and that he cared that I was sad/upset/angry/ALL THE FEELINGS.

The same is true of all of the deaths and subsequent riots as of late. I’m sorry, but when did the death of a human being and the reactions that come with it become a political issue? There are crappy parts on all sides of this.

It sucks that these men died in these situations regardless of the circumstances. It still sucks.

It sucks that people chose to hurt other humans in reaction to it. regardless of the circumstances. It still sucks.

It sucks that some of those people are choosing to use the opportunity and distraction for their own personal gain (ie: looting), regardless of the circumstances. It still sucks.

It sucks that some of us are pretending to understand the complexity of people’s feelings while standing on the outside looking in.

I’m still missing how this is a political issue. Where does the Republican party come in on all of this. Why does your opinion count as a “Democratic” one? When did our Nation become so polarized that we needed a political party to tell us how we feel about things?

I HATE that there is so much hate surrounding these events.

It is possible to NOT condone the actions of some of these people, and at the same time to empathize with our fellow Americans. Regardless of whether we feel like it should, this is an extremely painful time for some. How dare we lump everyone together and invalidate their overall feelings because of the actions of a few, or to point fingers and judge when most of us will never understand how they feel?

I realize that this all sounds very “in the middle.” That’s kind of the point, though. There should be no sides.

White people have no idea how it feels to be a minority, and it is absurd to pretend that we do. It will take so much work to right the wrongs against our African-American brothers and sisters, and this is by no means a commentary on how we can do that. The truth is that I don’t know how to do that, but that won’t stop me from learning and trying and not ignoring. And it all starts with me saying “I’m sorry that happened.”


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