The Calm before the Storm

DeathtoStock_NotStock4

I am literally minutes away from getting a delivery. Of a baby. Someone is coming my house to deliver a baby. To live with us. This is in addition to the baby I already have and the baby growing inside me right now.

I wanted to take a minute, really just for myself, to compose myself before possibly the craziest time *ever* begins. I don’t know what to expect, what to do, or how to be. All I know is that God has been setting me up for a while to trust Him with everything in me. He’s done that by turning my life upside down lately. Multiple hospital visits,a surgery, a surprise pregnancy, becoming the mother of a teenager I didn’t know before, scary moments, and lots of change. I have been an emotional wreck. And now He’s asking me to trust Him again.

I tried to enjoy my last night of regular sleep, but I really couldn’t. Dreams of chaos crowded my mind. As soon as the new baby starts figuring out sleep is probably when the even newer baby will make her grand entrance, then the cycle will start over. These last few moments are so weird. I feel like they should be sacred or something, but really they are just full of anxiety. I know I should be better, but I’m not. I feel like a crazy person. I have no idea what to expect and that scares the crap out of me. I am not a go-with-the-flow person. I need plans and structures and routine. We’ve been over this before, it’s nothing new. I am not easy-going, but apparently God would like for me to be.

So alright God, here goes.

Love, Alex

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “The Calm before the Storm

  1. This is just such an awesome story!! Fraught with all the elements of a great novel–God does some good writing! You guys are so great. And these kids, all of them, will know the great love you both have for them, and will see God in it. Love you!!

  2. Girl you are awesome! Trusting in God will only get you somewhere better. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I lived closer and could do something to help you out, ha and I don’t even know you in real life. You are an inspiration to me, with your trust in God and willingness to take on these kids. I’m sure it will be crazy but so beautiful and I can’t wait to read how it goes!

  3. Thinking of you girl! You got this!! Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything! As a mom of three I know the chaos all too well and how important asking for help is. Even if its just to bring a cup of coffee and hold some babies so you can get a shower – I have a wonderful friend who does this! 🙂

Leave me some love!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s