The Adoption Thing

So we broke the news to social media land last September that we are looking to rapidly expand our family. I wrote that we were opening up our home to adoption and foster care and that we were seeking two specific kids. I realize that it’s been way too long since I’ve given an update, and those of you that know me IRL have been asking about it and giving us so much support. We are so thankful!

adoption kids

I thought I’d give an update for those that aren’t in the know.

To start with, our home was opened (yaaaay!)! It took much longer than we had anticipated, but I think God knew what He was doing because this hormone-crazed mama would so not have been able to handle it. The second piece of news is not so great. We did not get those two kids. It is ultimately, probably, a blessing. It was decide that their current housing situation would become more permanent, and even though it is sad for us, stability is so great for waiting children.

Our reactions to this news were much different than we expected. I think somehow I saw the writing on the wall and subconsciously prepared myself. Bryan, on the other hand, was pretty heartbroken. Where I was ready to move on pretty quickly (part of which was probably a coping mechanism), Bryan was wanting to take a break and mourn a little longer. I think it was better that way. Even though it was so, so sad, seeing Bryan grieve the loss of kids he never knew reminded me that he is in this and wanting to love children that need it. It’s good to be shown that he’s not just ok with this plan of mine, but that it’s his plan too.

Our original intentions for this were to be a concurrent-planning foster care home, meaning that our home was open to foster kids, but that we are ready and willing to adopt if that became the plan for the child(ren). After these events and my not-so-speedy emotional recovery from having a baby pulled out of me, we decided to be adopt-only for a while, meaning that children who come into our home will already be terminated from their birth parents and on the road to a forever family.

Since all of these events, we have had a couple of calls about kids, and a disclosure meeting about one. We decided that that particular situation was not best for our home right now, and thus are still a 3-person-2-dog family. We have inquiries out on a few kids, however, and we continue to pray about them and hope for the best.

Oh! And we’re buying a house! It happened very quickly, and we move in 3 weeks, which is why I have been more MIA on the blogging. This type-A lady is trying her best to not get overwhelmed and stay organized as I pack and purge and plan (alliteration only somewhat intended).

AAAAAAAHHH wish us luck!

Love, Alex


Frustrated Nester

Grady bedroom before

In my last post, I talked about some of the frustrations that come with being debt free and having to save for things and pay for them with actual money. When we bought the “SuBEARben” as it’s come to be lovingly referred to in the Fittin household and among our friends, we *kind of* wiped ourselves out. What I mean is that we saved up for it, pouring all of our extra cash into “the car fund” and afterwards were running pretty thin.

This gap happened to fall when that awesome New Mom Nesting Energy kicked in…leading to a very frustrating time for me. Honestly guys, we are T-3 weeks from due date and although most of these have finally been ordered,  my child still does not have a dresser/changing station, CARSEAT (We had one. It was actually like the first thing we had thanks to my old coworkers, but then we decided to trade it in for the travel system that comes with that exact same carseat. Target may have free shipping right now…but it is not quick free shipping.), and a few other necessities.

Even more frustrating, I’ve learned that nesting is not just for biological children. The adoption front has not been enabling my patience problem either. Apparently there has been some sort of paperwork problem or delay with our home study, which is why our last step has taken so long. We were really hoping to get to meet the boys at least once before the baby came, and now it’s looking like that won’t happen. I’m super disappointed.

Is it too much to ask for everything to go perfectly? Gosh.

When I figure out what the lesson is for this latest experience in the growing-a-family part of our story, I’ll let you know. But for now I’m just…frustrated.

Love, Alex


This Child Has So Many Clothes.

Seriously y’all. We have been so incredibly blessed by people who see things that we would like, just have a lot of extra stuff, or just love us a lot.

You think I’m kidding? Check this out.

grady clothes3


grady clothes2


grady clothes1

And you guys? this isn’t even all of them. I’m trying to organize them by size into tubs so I can pull them out when he is ready to wear them. I started to catalog them all, but quickly gave up when I started hating my life and stuff.

2014-10-03 13.16.19



By far, this child has the most bear things ever owned by one person aaaaaaaand we love it. Grady, you’d better be into bears, man. Otherwise your father might cry actual tears.

So many thanks to my parents and sister, Bryan’s parents and sister, Heidi and Charlie Loften, Scott and Jennifer Mills, and Jeff and Joy Meekins for giving us all the great clothes for our little guy. He is set up for a long, long time!


Love, Alex

Crying in the Ultrasound Room

See my dress color? Yeah. It took me a while to get to that thumbs up.

See my dress color? Yeah. It took me a while to get to that thumbs up.

Now I’m sure some of you thought that title may have corresponded to precious, loving feelings of seeing my baby and finding out its sex. I think I’ve made it clear that I am not precious, and while I do cry a lot, talking about the amazing feelings of seeing your baby are awesome, yes, but also not unique banter for a blog. What I’m getting at is that I cried hot, sad, guilty tears that day. And before you come at me with pitchforks and torches shouting about how I’m ungrateful and unloving, hear me out. Especially because I think I’m probably not alone in this.

It most likely won’t come as much of a shock since the majority of women hope for a girl during pregnancy, but *shocker* I wanted a girl.

I had my reasons. Everyone in my larger church community seemingly had lotsandLotsandLOTS of boys and I wanted a different experience than them. We have girl dogs (ahem, children) and though it might sound silly, watching Bryan with them and knowing the type of man he is, I just wanted to see him with a daughter so badly. There are petty reasons, like the fact that girl clothes are 1000 times cuter than boy clothes, (<–fact) and also bigger reasons like the one I have to pull the vague-card on again (I really do promise to share soon).

Regardless of all the things, Bryan and I were both standing squarely on the girl-train.

In my increasing nervousness as the big day approached, I did some research on gender disappointment and found that it is an actual clinical issue that many women deal with. This should have made me feel better right? “No!” said my brain, “That would be much too logical!”

I was just so afraid of being disappointed to find out it was a boy and then feeling guilty about being disappointed like a vicious circle. I talked to a few people about it, most of whom understood, some of whom did not (Thanks guys!). It didn’t help to hear friends and family refer to the baby as a “him” before we even found out though, because as ridiculous as this sounds, I knew their happiness at guessing correctly would make it harder for me to pretend to be excited.

On July 24, we got up and headed to the clinic with a belly full of baby and butterflies. We were called into the ultrasound room first. Just like that. No doctor visit barrier. I think the tech was a little weirded out at ALL THE QUESTIONS. “Already? Are you sure? Like this? Right here? Uhh, so do you have kids? What’s the worst reaction you’ve ever seen of someone finding out the gender?” (You guys…) She told me that none were really too bad.


So we’re all chit-chatty and “Oh my gosh that’s our baby!” for the first few minutes. Then. She waves past the evidence quickly, but we had already seen. “Ok, are you ready to know what it is?! It’s a boy!”


I had such mixed emotions at that moment. Here I have a perfect, healthy baby BOY and all I can think about it my disappointment–>guilt for being disappointed–>but…BABY GIRL CLOTHES–>our baby is healthy!–>disappointment–>OMG HE’S SUCKING HIS THUMB–>well they do say boys are easier and now I’m off the hook for the birds and the bees talk–>disappointment. (<– vicious cycle. I know you appreciate me spelling it out for you because it’s not obvious or anything really.)

I cried. Like, so much that multiple tissues were needed. It was embarrassing and I hated myself for it.

All of the articles I had read about gender disappointment talked about how, much like when you take a pregnancy test that is negative and mourn the loss of a baby that never was, you mourn the loss of the baby girl or boy that never was.

I got it. Sitting in the waiting room accepting the fact that we wouldn’t be having a girl before having to fake excitement for the doctor was hard for both of us. Not to mention the fact that we had this family reveal dinner in the works for that very night that I had to polish my acting skills for.

gender reveal 1

Oh hey guys!

I got to work that morning and immediately started messing with our Amazon baby registry as a coping mechenism, hoping to distract myself with cute and shiny. It was overwhelming enough trying to pick out so much stuff with all of the reviews and safety reports and options and opinions to consider. What made it harder was that BOY STUFF IS JUST NOT AS CUTE AS GIRL STUFF. Plus, as it turns out, I’m super picky about the boy crap I actually do like. I’m so much fun, no really.


See? So much fun. (Ugh so grainy. Sorry guys, It was dark in there!)

Oh, and I had to call the bakery to tell them what color to use to fill the cupcakes and I’m sure the poor girl at Rick’s just thought I was a heartless weirdo.

“Hey, just calling to tell you the filling’s blue *small amount of forced excitement*”

“Oh a boy! Yay!”

“…yep. Ok thank you *more forced exctiement*.”

I mean…

How awesome are those though? Not-at-all-humble brag: the catchphrase was completely my idea and not a product of Pinterest at all.

How awesome are those though? Not-at-all-humble brag: the catchphrase was completely my idea and not a product of Pinterest at all. (Again with the grainy. I tried with the editing, I really did.)

We took our announcement photo to post after the reveal dinner, which we made it through and I didn’t cry at all. Small victory! It was actually a lot of fun to watch everyone bite into (or the smart ones use a knife to cut) the cupcakes and cheer at the filling color (which they would have done for either one of course).

See how genuine my smile is? ACTING.

See how genuine my smile is? ACTING.

The next morning, I talked to my mom and apologized for being a giant brat crabby the night before. She said she knew I was disappointed and completely understood. AND THEN (this is the “wait it gets getter” part) she said possibly the most profound thing ever. Work with me here because apparently I’m even more selfish and dense than I ever thought.

She told me that as much as having a little girl would have been wonderful and sweet and awesome,God obviously has a plan for our son, and that plan is much better than anything we could have dreamt up for our baby girl.


I realized that I had been thinking of this only from the standpoint of me having a baby/child/teenager. I was forgetting that there was a lot more living for him to do after the “raising him” part was over. And I think that kind of rocks.

A few minutes later my dad called me.

Let me pause here and explain something, because what I’m about to say will have much more meaning once I do. My dad and I are like, the same person.  Seriously. Both stubborn  as mules, both feel the need to constantly be right, and both tell it like it is and have to work hard on the encouraging words. So while my dad has lots of amazing qualities, the pretty words aren’t normally one of them. This is how I know God was (more gently than usual in my case) sending me the words my heart needed.

He told me that he knew I was hoping for a girl, but he thought I should know that I was going to make the best boy mom. He said that watching me with Grant and Guy (the sons of both of our mentors and who we watch when they are out of town), he could tell that I was going to be great and natural at this parenting thing. (<–HAHA)

Cue the tears. Seriously, y’all. This is when the good times started for me. I still had set-backs, like on vacation when all I saw were adorable, clean, well-dressed little girls and mangy, screaming, fit-thowing little boys. Hold me. But I got to go shopping at the outlet malls with the world’s best and most patient mom because for real, I AM SO PICKY, and I got some freaking adorable stuff for Grady.

That’s his name, Grady. OMG my child has a name. And OMG I’m over halfway there. And OMG I’m someone’s mom.

Crazy Eyes.


I've told you about my husband's obsession with bears, yes? Imagine my excitement to find this. I mean really.

I’ve told you about my husband’s obsession with bears, yes? Imagine my excitement to find this. I mean really.

My child is already swimming in threads thanks hugely to my wonderful and generous parents. Can you tell which piece is the favorite?

My child is already swimming in threads thanks hugely to my wonderful and generous parents. Can you tell which piece is the favorite?

Love, Alex

PS: For what it’s worth, here is the link for our ultrasound video. Not that I expect anyone to go watch it. I completely understand that what is wonderful and exciting for proud parents is just soooo boring for others. 🙂

“Vacation All I Ever Wanted”

…Vacation had to get away”

The Go-Go’s? Anyone? Bueler?

Ok…So anyways I am on vacation! Bryan and I (and #LilFitt) are in Gulf Shores, Alabama with my parents and brother and sister for a whole week!…which ends tomorrow. Womp woooomp.

Pause: I think in the midst of the chaos of packing and whatnot I forgot to post for the blogging world that #LilFitt is a BOY! More on that later.

Back to vacation. My family and I have been coming here for over 10 years. We pretty much have this whole beach vacation thing down to a science. Relaxation: check. Great seafood: check. All of the fun bars and hot spots: check.

Also on the vacation docket this year? Big feelings and heart change, apparently. Leave it to Jen Hatmaker (If you’re new to my little corner of the interwebs, you should know and will probably pick up on the fact that I am obsessed with her.) and her words and feelings and convictions to completely wreck me inside. AND ON VACATION.

Truthfully though? I am loving it. I’m halfway through the book and I love that it has made me cry actual tears while sitting on the beach. I love that it is giving me a basis for the 7 experiment that I and my friends did through her guidance. I love that it provides a channel for God to kick me in the butt and get me moving.

I swear, I have read my mom like half of the book aloud. I’m making her resent it before I force her to read it. Probably not the best strategy. Oh well.

That’s all for now on an update! I’ll post vacation photos soon…promise.

Love, Alex

American Flag Doo-Rag

So I had a post all typed out last week with lots of Phoebe photos that I promise I will eventually retype. See wut-ha-happen was I was unexpectedly gone from work for like 6 days and so the session timed out and when I to post it this morning, it all went bye-bye. After all the crap that has happened over the past week month, I don’t even care.

Until I can repost, I’ll leave you with this teaser of why I was out for so long *SLASH* a hilarious photo of our friends’ kid giving Bryan gifts.

Gifts given: rubber slappy hand, woopie cushion, American flag doo-rag, Feliz Cumpleanos balloon, mardi gras beads, fake mustaches.

Gifts Bryan ended up giving back to Adler because he was having so much fun with them: slappy hand, woopie cushion.

Is This Thing On?

I’m still a little raw about the fact that we just lost to Germany, but in honor of the person from Germany who viewed my blog today, I’ll be nice. Plus we advance anyway. I BELIEVE. OOO ESS AH! OOO ESS AH!

While we’re on th subject of people viewing my blog, to the person who found me via the search “Drank before I knew I was pregnant,” you should know that I had two margaritas the night I found out I was. Pre pee-stick of course.

…Anyways. Just wanted to share a new little adventure of mine.

Let me start by saying that public speaking scares me as much as the next person. We can’t all punch fear in the face as well as Jon Acuff. However, I’ve always been pretty good at it. This is not a self-evaluation. I was told all throughout my schooling journey that I sounded like a news-reporter when I spoke and that it was all so clear and eloquent and stuff. Such a sexy compliment amiright? This provided confidence makes me like it zero percent more, but it has steered me to dream of radio or voiceover work someday. And maybe… when I grow up A LOT… I’ll be cool with doing speaking jobs.

I am happy to say that I’m beginning to make one of those dreams come true!


Thaaaat’s right. I’m starting to do voiceover work! Like for money and stuff!

After recording the outro for my awesome husband’s podcast: Go Rogue with Bryan and Eric, other people became interested in my voice, which is super cool. Also, if you want to hear my outro, click on that link. Don’t do this, because you should definitely listen to the whole episode. But if you like…Don’t have time or something and just want to hear my part, you can just fast-forward to the end of one of them. Then go back later and listen to every episode ever. Because they’re good, y’all.

You can also soon go to the Sams Club website and hear me on a mattress commercial. I’ll post the link when it’s live. Yay!

I’m pretty excited about this, and if you like what you hear and want to hire me, you totally should. I’m just saying, I’m about to be unemployed. And I do mean unemployed. As in, quitting my job before #LilFitt makes his/her appearance. So I’ll only be “jobless” for a few months and I’m of the stance that once that baby comes, I will no longer be “jobless.” Can I get an AMEN for SAHM/WAHM swag?

Any readers do voiceover work? Tips and Tricks?